Brains of Paradise

Howdy there. My name is John.
I'm 20 years old at the time of my editing this, and I'm really confused.
Really. Confused.
I know people have it way worse off than I do, but my brain is hardwired to not care, about everything and everyone. I'm a narcissist. I sometimes wonder if everyone is secretly this way.
I used to think I was a failure, but I was wrong. I wasn't failing, I was just slipping. The world isn't as solid as we think it is. People think rooting themselves in society and superficial shit gives them real ground to stand on, but (at the risk of sounding like an irate hipster) society isn't really all that real.
When most people look at society, they see a bustling city street, where everyone is doing their part.
When I look at society, I see a group of animals vainly clinging to scraps that they made up to make life easier.
It's ridden with holes.
I used to play a game where you were a ball, and the ground kept coming at you, so you had to move through the screen and find the holes to fall through before the ground smashed you against the top.
That's how I see my life.

Suicide is the strongest display of courage.

Every form of life on earth, lives for the sole purpose of surviving. Survival is what makes up life, it is everything. Death is the one thing that all life fears most. No one knows what’s after it, and the thought of eternal nonexistence is pretty intimidating. Death is without a doubt the most frightening thing known to man.

To have the courage to kill yourself, is to stand against the very fabric of your instincts. It literally goes against nature to want to die. Think about it, how much courage do you need to end your existence? To purposely end all forms of happiness and comfort, to end everything you ever knew, never to feel ever again. For those who think suicide is a coward’s way out, are just ignorant, because nothing requires more courage than to take your own life.

—Someone on /x/